Finding the Balance

It seems everywhere I look I see people struggling to balance the many differing aspect of life. The working Mom balancing the needs of her family and the needs of her employer, the ‘sandwich generation’ adding the needs of the parent to be balanced with work and family, are only two examples of the tightrope existence we see everyday. We must balance our spending with our earnings—or face costly penalties, our consumption with our activity—or grow obese. We must also strike a balance between the social aspects of life and the personal. Eastern philosophy calls it the ‘yin and yang’ of life. This give and take allows for a sliding scale of sorts. There are inevitably times when life requires more attention to one area with less given to others. Unfortunately it is usually the squeaky wheel that demands attention and not necessarily the true need that claims it.

I struggle to find the balance in my life. For many years my center of attention was my husband…his employment, his health, his needs—even our diet and meal schedule were worked around his desires. I balanced my life around his world. Now three years removed from the routine I still have no sense of personal balance.

Since his death I have managed to trade one box for another, time and time again. It seems I am always choosing to be at the mercy of someone else’s need. It is safe to always do what you excel at. I’m very good at complying almost to the point that I can no longer sense where the needs of the current “box” ends and my life begins.

As I face this new chapter in my life it is my desire to find what is uniquely me—unfortunately I have no idea where or how to begin. There is a quote, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Living on purpose and not happenstance—that is where I must begin. Join me on this journey as I welcome suggestions from those who have faced or are facing change.

Finding Peace

Today’s generation has a myriad of issues to deal with from a poor economy, sky rocketing prices to childhood obesity rising at an alarming rate. Many find they are sandwiched between caring for their aging parents as they simultaneously juggle the activities of their own growing children. Those who are not blessed with attentive adult children who do not wish to reside in a nursing home are forced to rely on hired help in their declining years. A friend employed as a fulltime home manager for just such a couple shared her experience.

St. Anthony—the patron saint of lost causes is one saint I am sure many even outside the faith call upon…every time they cannot find a treasured item or need encouraging along life’s path.  My research shows the prayers to St Anthony vary but a popular prayer is as follows:

Saint Anthony, perfect imitator of Jesus, who received from God the special power of restoring lost things, grant that I may find (mention your petition) which has been lost. At least restore to me peace and tranquility of mind, the loss of which has afflicted me even more than my material loss.

My friend was the caregiver who attended to Vito’s needs. He often referred to her as his personal St Anthony—because she always had an answer, idea or resolution to his problem. Whether it was a lost set of keys or misplaced piece of favorite jewelry…she always found it. When he was observed using silverware to extract a piece of wedged toast from the toaster she provided him with a safe means of retrieving his toasted bread. She certainly didn’t want him to hurt himself by getting shocked.

Everyone got to hear how St Anthony saved his life and how appreciative he was to her for her devotion. It was no secret that his caregiver was a woman of faith—even though she didn’t share the same church affiliation as he. So strong was his faith in her that when he lay near death wailing inconsolably in his fear of condemnation—it was to his own personal St Anthony that he turned for comfort.

Vito was a chemist by trade. Years before he played a large part in creating the first birth control pill manufactured. This went against all his religious doctrine. Near death he worried that his part in this business would somehow prevent him from entering his eternal rest in peace at his journey’s end.

He voiced his lament and was not disappointed when she had the answer—ask for forgiveness. It was that simple, yes, his St Anthony did indeed have the answer to his ‘lost cause.’ She didn’t waste time in long explanations but lead him in a prayer of forgiveness. He passed away quietly and in peace with his maker.

So my friend, when you feel you have lost all hope—all is not lost…tell God your need and don’t forget to thank Him for what He alone can do.